sigh.. this will be my first post and i guess its quite emo. well.. today is the day before i will take back my promos results.. 1 min ago, i am still on msn and she came to tok to me.. she pop the question that i wanna avoid all the while, "i noe u don realli wan to tok to me". well.. at this moment, i couldnt avoid anymore, instead i pop another question. " do you still have any hope of going back with me" well she replied she still love me.. this ans sends the guilt running over me. you did nothing wrong in loving me so long but its this guilt that u did nothing wrong but it was me that don wan to cherish this love.
sigh.. if only you know how much stress u are giving me. everytime u try to talk to me and be happy, i couldnt talk back, i do not want to give u any hope of going back. i only wish you could talk to me with the hope of being friends. the question lies, do i still like you. well.. i only can give u a neutral ans. i don lyk nor do i hate. i treat you as a friend.
in the begining, it was a known fact that we are not each other. but we carry on and give it a try but it was till now i find that i couldnt love you with my whole heart because you are the not the girl i wanted. i really hope you would not come across this, i do not wan to hurt you anymore. it was my fault at the start, and i am afraid that any dragging of our relationship would just results in deeper wounds but i did not know the wounds i gave you are so deep. i am sorry. thats all i could say.. i really am sorry.
well.. tmr its judgment day, and the day i dread have to come. i reap what i sow. i know my results wont turn up as a miracle. sigh.. 2 problems in 1 day. i couldnt feel anymore emo.
i am sorry. really am...
